There has been a lot of hate singling out the LGBTQ+ community throughout the election. It has been present in our society for far too long, but certainly has felt more intense with the political season that we are in. The worry for people in the LGBTQ+ community, and those who love them, is very real and concerning.
As a therapist I sit with people every day to hear about their thoughts, worries and well-being. People tend to fear what they don’t understand. If we haven’t had the experience ourselves it is difficult to be empathetic. In order to lessen, or alleviate our fear we have to be curious about what it feels like to be different than we are.
When I hear or see people sharing their concerns about transgender and nonbinary communities that curiosity often seems to be missing. It is rare to see an article or hear someone talk about the experience of gender dysphoria and how healthcare can be supportive and often lifesaving for them.
*Gender dysphoria is defined as an incongruence between a person’s biology (anatomy) and how they feel inside about their gender (gender expression). Just because someone has sex organs that present as male or female, does not mean their internalized identity matches.
I often think about the amount of courage it takes someone to openly share that they are feeling this incongruence, in a world that often doesn’t understand or approve of them. People who are brave enough to be vulnerable and share who they are deserve to be believed. Who are we to question what someone’s felt experience is? When my clients tell me who they are, I believe them. I don’t try to persuade them to be different or try to change them to fit my worldview.
What if we allowed ourselves to recognize the fear of not knowing or understanding and became curious instead? What if instead of fighting against gender-affirming (and lifesaving) care, we tried to understand why the suicide rate of transgender and nonbinary youth is roughly 50%?
Allowing ourselves to be curious is something that can be cultivated over time, with practice. It isn’t our natural instinct to want to move beyond what is known and comfortable. In order to treat differences with curiosity we have to intentionally see our own biases and work to deconstruct them. To combat our implicit biases we can ask questions, get to know people within this community, and be open to views that are different than our own.
According to the Trevor Project, LGBTQ+ people “are not inherently prone to suicide risk because of their sexual orientation or gender identity but rather placed at higher risk because of how they are mistreated and stigmatized in society.”
We have come a long way in de-stigmatizing many mental health conditions such as anxiety, PTSD and depression. That gives me hope that with continued work through education, advocacy, support and safer spaces, we will one day lower the misinformation and harmful rhetoric related to gender expression and identity.
If you, or someone you know is needing support:
The Trevor Project Lifeline: 1-866-488-7386
Trans Hotline: 1-877-565-8860
The Trevor Project Text: “Start” to 678-678
Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: 988
*Important Note: Not all transgender or gender non-conforming people will experience the psychological distress that results in gender dysphoria.
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